DIASPORA SCARY EXPERIENCES

Since 2007 I have been travelling to different states in Africa and Beyond. Allow me to share a few scary stories Kenyans and Africans in the diaspora happen to share with me.

1. MARRIED IN KENYA DIVORCED IN DIASPORA

Someone once said You can move a man from the village but not the village from the man. This maybe only happens to the village man, on the other side, you can move an African from Africa and forever the "Africanness" (if there is a word like that) remains in Africa.

These are two separate experiences one from a Brother in Diaspora and the Other one from a Sister in Diaspora.

A) I Met 'Mfethu' in Czech Republic back in 2011. A former school mate, was a respected young family man back then in Kenya, he had this lovely young family, beautiful wife and both were pursuing medicine.

When i met him he had a different wife and not the one i knew when i was in Kenya. Out of curiosity i asked him what happened, and over a cup of coffee in one of the tiny coffee shops of Ostrava City he shared his story.

When they moved in the diaspora, they got jobs in different hospitals after months of hustling up and down, you know the story of seeking greener pastures.

Problem was, they had different job shifts, Mfethu during the day and wife during the night and rarely did they meet.

One day, the wife just filled for a divorce and that's how she moved in with another partner and they were happily married 👀

I didn't want to ask more but as a mature person i could read between the lines what contributed to this divorce.

B) Gaceri ( Not Her Real Name) hails from one of the tea growing villages in Kenya. She moved over to Europe as an Aupair back in the years. After joining college, university and securing a job, my Gaceri was lucky to get citizenship in one of the european countries, How she did that don't ask me, on securing the very important Citizenship, she decided it was time to invite her Boyfriend who was still fighting to lift

the wheel of life back in "Mukuru Kwa Njenga' in Nairobi.

The young man arrived and was received warmly and for a few months Gaceri was providing for the man, linked him around and the guy even joined a university.

Five years down the line, the guy had a citizenship and got himself a job.

Two months after getting a job, he apologized to Gaceri and moved to live with the cousin of our Gaceri and they were happily married 👿

Let me stop there on this marriage thing, its depressing.........

IN MY OBSERVATION:

Originally the major reason for people to come to the Diaspora was to receive higher education in colleges and universities. By so doing some ended up being assimilated into the Diaspora job market. But in these recent years foreign professionals have sought greener pastures in the Diaspora as well as political, economic and social refugees who have come to seek asylum as they flee from harsh conditions of life from their home countries. This influx of immigrants did not give most married couples a smooth and quick transition from their home countries. Depending on each individual’s situation, some couples waited for as long as ten or more years to reunite due to cumbersome and meticulous Diaspora immigration processes. However an observation has been made that there is a higher divorce rate among immigrants in diaspora than their counterparts in their home country. What could have exacerbated this decline of the value of the marriage institution? Listed below are some of the causes of the increase in divorce rate among married couples living in diaspora:

1) Forced separation of married couples for a long time thus giving room to temptation and marital unfaithfulness due to loneliness
2) Absence of a closely knit extended family which was a safeguard to divorce as it provided necessary support and early interventions to ailing marriages back in Africa
3) Lack of guidance and counselling on the re-union and re-bonding process i.e. to fall in love again because a long period of separation would have made the couple become strangers to each other
4) A ready market of love without responsibility whereby people can co-habit or simply have sex with each other willy nilly
5) Marriages of convenience where one or both partners aim to gain something after which they can easily walk out of that so-called marital union
6) The upward mobility of women as they progress professionally whilst their spouses stagnate due to reasons best known to themselves
7) Changing gender roles by default whereby women become breadwinners whilst the men become house technicians thus reduce their ego and ability to be in control as is expected in African culture.

 

2. FAMILY IS EVERYTHING BUT NOT TO EVERYONE

Gichiru and Hadhija lives in one of the coldest countries I ever visited in the Schengen region. Working hard to change the story of their poor families back home, they joined hands and agreed to open an investment for their kins back home.

First was start a poultry farming project that never happened

Then it was a matatu business that never took place, the Van is still parked somewhere in Kalimoni Mombasa after generating loses for one year.

Lastly it was the idea of buying a piece of land, building a few rentals that would generate passive income to support their kins and parents.

For one year they received photos of the amazing project, until completion. When they decided to travel to Kenya for the grand opening, both parents and siblings were unreachable on phone.

You of course know what happened .......👎👎💀

My Brother Gichiru and Hadhija are now doing Airbnbs and Holidays Homes in Nanyuki. No family member is allowed to know about their investment.

NOT ORIGINAL IMAGES  👆👆👆👆

These are just two experiences, I will keep sharing more.......

Reach me for more advice on Diaspora Experiences 

James Ploti: +254708459336

Kwenda Kwingi Kujionea Mengi