CONFIDENCE AND GRATITUDE

DURING MY RESEARCH ON HUMAN BEHAVIOR, I REALIZED CONFIDENCE AND GRATITUDE ARE TWINS.

Confidence: The feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.

Gratitude: The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

In my years of studying human behavior and the attainability of self-confidence, I have found that there’s one core value that confidence always always always comes back to: and that’s gratitude.

Feelings of gratitude and feelings of confidence are directly related.

This is because the more grateful you are for all that you have, the more you realize ALL that you have to be grateful for… and more and more awesome things in your life become apparent.

The truth – everyone has countless reasons to be thankful. But sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. Maybe you’re having a bad day, a bad week, heck, even a bad year. But regardless of any of that, there is always something to be grateful for.

Confidence is a created trait. It is created not by saying things confidently in meetings, board rooms. It is created by:

1. Action over procrastination

2. 2. Action over planning with no execution

3. Action over self-sabotage and fear of failure

4. Action over feeling sorry for yourself because you need to work harder.

Tips for building self-confidence

There are a number of things you can do to build your confidence. Some of them are just small changes to your frame of mind; others you’ll have to work on for a bit longer to make them familiar habits.

1. Look at what you’ve already achieved

It’s easy to lose confidence if you believe you haven’t achieved anything. Make a list of all the things you’re proud of in your life, whether it’s getting a good mark on an exam or learning to surf. Keep the list close by and add to it whenever you do something you’re proud of. When you’re low in confidence, pull out the list and use it to remind yourself of all the awesome stuff you've done.

2. Think of things you're good at

Everyone has strengths and talents. What are yours? Recognizing what you’re good at, and trying to build on those things, will help you to build confidence in your own abilities.

3. Set some goals

Set some goals and set out the steps you need to take to achieve them. They don’t have to be big goals; they can even be things like baking a cake or planning a night out with friends. Just aim for some small achievements that you can tick off a list to help you gain confidence in your ability to get stuff done.

4. Talk yourself up

You’re never going to feel confident if you have negative commentary running through your mind telling you that you’re no good. Think about your self-talk and how that might be affecting your self-confidence. Treat yourself like you would your best friend and cheer yourself on.

5. Get a hobby

Try to find something that you’re really passionate about. It could be photography, sport, knitting or anything else! When you’ve worked out your passion, commit yourself to giving it a go. Chances are, if you’re interested or passionate about a certain activity, you’re more likely to be motivated and you’ll build skills more quickly.

We all have moments of ungratefulness. It’s just human nature.

We can get so caught up in our own bubbles and concerned with our own problems that we forget to think about and appreciate the things that our fellow human beings do for us and the sacrifices they make for us on a daily basis.

All different kinds of things can cause ungratefulness. It might be their upbringing or things that have happened to them in the past.

But, some people just have personality types that mean they’re more likely to expect more from others and from the world.

These people can’t understand why they should have to be thankful for the good things that come their way, or for the things that other people do for them.

It can be difficult to establish whether someone’s just having a bad time of it temporarily, or if they’re genuinely ungrateful.

It can also be incredibly frustrating to be around someone like that, and tough to figure out how to deal with them.

Keep reading for a basic guide to identifying and handling any ungrateful people in your life so that you can minimize their negative impact on you, and on the others around them.

GRATITUDE

9 Signs Of An Ungrateful Person

1. They’re never satisfied.

No matter how well things seem to be going for them, and how many goals they meet, targets they achieve, or things they get their hands on, they’re never happy.

There’s always something else they’re chasing, something else that’s not right, and another reason why their life is not good enough.

Whilst having goals is normally a positive thing, they don’t know how to take a minute to be happy and thankful for everything they have achieved.

Instead, they are forever setting their sights on something else.

2. They are filled with envy.

They look at the good things that others achieve or have and they wish that for themselves. But it goes beyond looking up to someone for inspiration.

They compare their life unfavorably to others and this envy consumes them so that they cannot be happy with what they have.

3. They’re bitter.

It doesn’t take much for them to get angry. They might be resentful about something that happened in their past, or get upset about whatever’s happening in the here and now.

4. They have a major sense of entitlement.

Ungrateful people have often suffered in the past, but that trauma can create an idea in them that they’re entitled to an awful lot from the world, and from others.

5. They’re always asking for help from others.

Most of us tend to struggle to ask other people for help. We don’t want to put people out.

But, ungrateful people, or people who aren’t thankful, will happily ask you to help them.

There’s always something they desperately need your help with. They seem to feel that they’ve earned your help, so don’t have to thank you for it.

They might have done one nice thing for you once, and expect ten in return.

6. If you can’t help them, they won’t let you forget it.

And if you genuinely can’t give them the help they’ve asked for, you won’t be allowed to forget about it in a hurry, whatever your reason.

7. They don’t genuinely care about others.

Consistent ungratefulness is often linked to selfishness. The world revolves around them, and they think it’s only natural that others should do things for them.

So, they don’t tend to empathize with other people’s suffering or needs. It’s simply not their problem.

8. They don’t have time for you unless they need something from you.

It’s only when they need something from you that they pop up. They won’t suggest meeting up just to catch up, and they won’t text just to see how you are. They take you for granted.

9. They play the victim.

They’re not just pretending to be the victim. In their mind, they really do consider themselves to be worse off than anyone else.

If you ever complain about something, they’ll be able to offer up several examples of when they’ve had it worse. And, if you try to offer sympathy or advice, they won’t take it.

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JAMES PLOTI