CONFIDENCE AND GRATITUDE
DURING MY RESEARCH ON HUMAN BEHAVIOR, I REALIZED CONFIDENCE AND GRATITUDE ARE TWINS.
Confidence: The
feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.
Gratitude: The
quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return
kindness.
In my years of studying human behavior and the attainability of self-confidence, I have found that there’s one core value that confidence always always always comes back to: and that’s gratitude.
Feelings of gratitude and feelings of confidence are directly
related.
This is because the more grateful you are for all that you have,
the more you realize ALL that you have to be grateful for… and more and more
awesome things in your life become apparent.
The truth – everyone has countless reasons to be thankful. But
sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. Maybe you’re having a bad day, a bad week,
heck, even a bad year. But regardless of any of that, there is always something
to be grateful for.
Confidence is a created trait. It is created not by saying
things confidently in meetings, board rooms. It is created by:
1. Action
over procrastination
2. 2.
Action over planning with no execution
3. Action
over self-sabotage and fear of failure
4. Action
over feeling sorry for yourself because you need to work harder.
Tips for building self-confidence
There are a number of things you can do to build your confidence. Some of
them are just small changes to your frame of mind; others you’ll have to work
on for a bit longer to make them familiar habits.
1. Look at what you’ve already achieved
It’s easy to lose confidence if you believe you haven’t achieved anything.
Make a list of all the things you’re proud of in your life, whether it’s
getting a good mark on an exam or learning to surf. Keep the list close by and
add to it whenever you do something you’re proud of. When you’re low in
confidence, pull out the list and use it to remind yourself of all the awesome
stuff you've done.
2. Think of things you're good at
Everyone has strengths and talents. What are yours? Recognizing what you’re
good at, and trying to build on those things, will help you to build confidence
in your own abilities.
3. Set some goals
Set some goals and set out the steps you need to take to achieve them. They
don’t have to be big goals; they can even be things like baking a cake or
planning a night out with friends. Just aim for some small achievements that
you can tick off a list to help you gain confidence in your ability to get
stuff done.
4. Talk yourself up
You’re never going to feel confident if you have negative commentary running
through your mind telling you that you’re no good. Think about your self-talk
and how that might be affecting your self-confidence. Treat yourself like you
would your best friend and cheer yourself on.
5. Get a hobby
Try to find something that you’re really passionate about. It could be photography, sport, knitting or anything else! When you’ve worked out your passion, commit yourself to giving it a go. Chances are, if you’re interested or passionate about a certain activity, you’re more likely to be motivated and you’ll build skills more quickly.
We all have moments
of ungratefulness. It’s just human nature.
We can get so caught up in our own bubbles and concerned
with our own problems that we forget to think about and appreciate the things
that our fellow human beings do for us and the sacrifices they make for us on a
daily basis.
We can get so caught up in our own bubbles and concerned
with our own problems that we forget to think about and appreciate the things
that our fellow human beings do for us and the sacrifices they make for us on a
daily basis.
All different kinds of things can
cause ungratefulness. It might be their upbringing or things that have happened
to them in the past.
But, some people just have
personality types that mean they’re more likely to expect more from others and
from the world.
These people can’t understand why
they should have to be thankful for the good things that come their way, or for
the things that other people do for them.
It can be difficult to establish
whether someone’s just having a bad time of it temporarily, or if they’re
genuinely ungrateful.
It can also be incredibly
frustrating to be around someone like that, and tough to figure out how to deal
with them.
Keep reading for a basic guide to
identifying and handling any ungrateful people in your life so that you can
minimize their negative impact on you, and on the others around them.
9
Signs Of An Ungrateful Person
1.
They’re never satisfied.
No matter how well things seem to be
going for them, and how many goals they meet, targets they achieve, or things
they get their hands on, they’re never happy.
There’s always something else
they’re chasing, something else that’s not right, and another reason why their
life is not good enough.
Whilst having goals is normally a positive thing, they don’t know how to
take a minute to be happy and thankful for everything they have achieved.
Instead, they are forever setting their sights on something else.
2. They are filled with envy.
They look at the good things that others achieve or have and they wish that
for themselves. But it goes beyond looking up to someone for inspiration.
They compare their life unfavorably to others and this envy consumes them so
that they cannot be happy with what they have.
3.
They’re bitter.
It doesn’t take much for them to get angry. They might be resentful about
something that happened in their past, or get upset about whatever’s happening
in the here and now.
4. They have a major sense of entitlement.
Ungrateful people have often suffered in the past, but that trauma can
create an idea in them that they’re entitled to an awful lot from the world,
and from others.
5. They’re always asking for help from others.
Most of us tend to struggle to ask other people for help. We don’t want to
put people out.
But, ungrateful people, or people who aren’t thankful, will happily ask you
to help them.
There’s always something they
desperately need your help with. They seem to feel that they’ve earned your
help, so don’t have to thank you for it.
They might have done one nice thing for you once, and expect ten in return.
6. If you can’t help them,
they won’t let you forget it.
And if you genuinely can’t give them the help they’ve asked for, you won’t
be allowed to forget about it in a hurry, whatever your reason.
7. They don’t genuinely care
about others.
Consistent ungratefulness is often linked to selfishness. The world revolves
around them, and they think it’s only natural that others should do things for
them.
So, they don’t tend to empathize with other people’s suffering or needs.
It’s simply not their problem.
8. They don’t have time for
you unless they need something from you.
It’s only when they need something from you that they pop up. They won’t
suggest meeting up just to catch up, and they won’t text just to see how you
are. They take you for granted.
9. They play the victim.
They’re not just pretending to be the victim. In their mind, they really do
consider themselves to be worse off than anyone else.
If you ever complain about something, they’ll be able to offer up several
examples of when they’ve had it worse. And, if you try to offer sympathy or
advice, they won’t take it.
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What a powerful piece. Thank you.
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